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Networking can be daunting. Research even suggests that “networking makes people feel impure.” This sentiment is something I’ve heard from professionals across industries, and honestly, they aren’t wrong. We often approach networking events feeling out of place, like we’re playing a game just to make connections. In doing so, we forget to be authentic.
The real key to successful networking lies in being pure and authentic in your approach. But how do you enjoy something you naturally resist?
It’s an interesting dilemma because, in reality, once you know a few people in the room, networking becomes much easier. And how do you get there? By networking. The irony is that you won’t become comfortable with it until you do it enough times.
But here’s the magic: Once you’ve done enough networking, there’s a unique thrill in walking into a room full of strangers. The challenge can be invigorating — deciding which clique in the crowd to infiltrate, wondering if they’ll accept you or turn you away.
The beauty of networking with unfamiliar faces is that it doesn’t really matter what happens, as long as you put yourself out there. If someone isn’t receptive, who cares? They didn’t know you before, and if no good connection was made, they usually won’t after. No harm done.
We’ve all been there, starting out as nervous networkers, unsure of what to do or how to make meaningful connections. Why are we even at these events with endless cocktails and conversations?
Using branding and marketing to make networking easier
Preparation is key before walking into a room of intimidating strangers. Along with your personal branding and marketing strategies, think about how they fit into your networking efforts.
Building an online presence beforehand can make things easier. Social media allows you to begin networking from behind the safety of a screen. Connect with people on LinkedIn, introduce yourself on Facebook, and share/tag events you’re attending on Instagram. It helps create warmer introductions when you meet in person, and people may even recognize you from your online interactions.
Even if they don’t recognize you, it still serves as a great icebreaker. Mention that you recently connected with them online, or compliment them on something you saw on their social media. The best networkers are more methodical than you might think — they often operate off a “networking hit list.”
Prepare your hit list
Some of the most connected people I know seem to effortlessly move through events, engaging in meaningful conversations at every turn. The truth is they’re usually very systematic about it. Many of them keep categorized spreadsheets with notes on the contacts they meet, and they’re diligent about recalling details from past interactions.
Make quick notes on your phone or on their business card as soon as possible — “Rebecca loves snowboarding and is heading to Big Bear this winter,” or “Ted has three kids; oldest is starting college.” These details will help you personalize your follow-up.
Creating a networking hit list before attending events is another great tactic. Research the event website or Facebook page to see if there’s anyone you’d like to meet. If there’s a guest list, make a note of five to 10 people, and aim to meet at least half of them.
Ineffective networkers assume things will fall into place if they just show up. Others think it’s inauthentic to plan. But it’s not manipulation — it’s preparation, ensuring you maximize your time and effort.
The key to authentic connections
Networking isn’t about just handing out business cards and moving on. It’s about creating meaningful connections with people you actually like. We spend so much time working — why waste it on relationships with people you don’t enjoy being around?
The best networking encounters begin with genuine conversations, not “So, what do you do?” Talk about the venue, the food or their shoes — anything but work at first. Yes, you’ll get to business eventually, but it’s much more natural if you start with something personal.
You make networking work
Over the years, I’ve belonged to many networking groups and associations. Most recently, as President of the LGBTQ+ Real Estate Alliance and an Inman Ambassador, I’ve attended countless events. People always ask me if it’s worth joining these groups. My answer is always, “Yes — but you have to work the network to make it work.”
Not everyone walks into a room full of strangers and effortlessly makes connections. You have to dive in, introduce yourself and start conversations. If you don’t, no one will.
It’s also smart to network with group members before attending events. Reach out beforehand, so when you walk in, you’ve already broken the ice.
Still feeling nervous? At the very least, introduce yourself to the event organizers or leaders — they should always be happy to connect.
The power of connection: Don’t dismiss anyone
In real estate, we’re inundated with networking opportunities at local, state, and national levels. The key is to be selective and strategic. Know where you’re going, who you want to meet and what the event can offer.
Inman Connect, for example, is one of the best networking and educational events I attend. Several times a year, I invest in this gathering of industry professionals who mirror my approach. These people are committed to delivering the same level of service to their clients as I am to mine, and that’s why I make the investment to attend.
Finally, don’t dismiss anyone just because they don’t seem relevant to your immediate needs. You never know when a connection will prove invaluable. In real estate, you’ll eventually need contractors, inspectors and other professionals outside your usual network. Plus, you never know when you might need a connection to something completely unexpected.
Networking isn’t just about meeting people who can help you now — it’s about building a web of connections for the future. Analyze what’s stopping you from embracing it, make a plan, and then get out there and do it. Keep doing it. And watch your network — and your opportunities — grow.
Zak Shellhammer is a broker, coach and consultant. Connect with him on LinkedIn and Instagram.
